Everybody needs an occasional jump-start, but nobody likes getting all jumpy. Most of us want to rev up our energy levels, elevate our moods and boost our productivity – but we want to do it without that strung-out, “wired” feeling that too much actual caffeine can leave us with.
Delos to the rescue – with our new Classical Caffeine album. It’s chock-full of happy, high-energy music by Bach, Mozart, Khachaturian, Tchaikovsky, Shostakovich, Vivaldi, Beethoven, Prokofiev, Debussy and others. Remember, upbeat music has been scientifically proven to make you feel better: it stimulates both mind and body, banishes the blues, refreshes flagging spirits, promotes energy, and leaves you with a smile on your face and a spring in your step.
Combing through our extensive catalog, we have come up with a sure-fire assortment of manic, fun music that’s guaranteed to wake you up and get you going! And these snazzy, snappy performances are sure to please, coming as they do from Delos’ long list of top-tier recording artists and ensembles. It might even save you some money: with fewer trips to your neighborhood coffee emporium, the album could well pay for itself in NO time!
Warning: Antidepressant – may cause feelings of helpless happiness and irrational optimism.
Indications/applications: If you’ve ever considered kicking the caffeine habit – and the jumpy, irritable and strung-out feelings that it brings – Delos can help! Simply substitute our Classical Caffeine remedy.
Therapeutic benefits: Morning eye-opener, mental cobweb-cleanser, general energy-booster, “blues” banisher, social harmony facilitator, and post-lunch doldrums re-invigorator.
(Very) active ingredients: Contains organic, high-energy music by Vivaldi, Bach, Handel, Mozart, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, Shostakovich, Prokofiev, Kabalevsky, Khachaturian, Debussy, Milhaud and others – all harvested and processed by the hands of Delos artists such as Constantine Orbelian, Gerard Schwarz, Moscow Chamber Orchestra, New York Chamber Symphony, Philharmonia of Russia, Brazilian Guitar Quartet and others.
Side effects: Severe risk of involuntary toe-tapping, finger-snapping, or head-bobbing – also compulsive urges to sing or dance along, or even to jump up and “air conduct.”
Recommended Dosage (all ages): Unlimited – take as often as needed, morning, noon, or night (except maybe right before bedtime); no chance of an overdose.
Cost per dose: Negligible, when administered frequently.
Expiration date: Never.
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